When I turned five, I wanted Malibu Barbie. My sons just want face masks at their party

I am lucky that they are too young to feel proper anxiety about the current situation

My twins started reception last week and so, for the first time, we’ve been right in the teeth of the prevailing school debate, although this year, instead of the usual arguments over slipping standards or shortfalls in funding, it’s been about whether kids should be at school at all. (Oh, I’ve really enjoyed August 2020, with people discussing very solemnly whether it’s selfish/unnecessary/downright dangerous to send kids back to school, usually right after describing their own recent return from Marbella/Crete/Cyprus.)

So many of the conversations about the return to school have been about the adults: how do teachers feel about it? How do parents? What do we – the smart adults who are talking as if we all have degrees in virology, even if our only science qualification is a scraped-through biology GCSE – think we should do? Of course, we’re only trying to Protect The Children. But grownups have a long-established habit of talking over kids’ heads and assuming they won’t pick up on what’s going on – and kids have an even more established habit of proving them wrong.

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