Why be a performative Insta parent when your kids will be happy in front of the TV? | Hadley Freeman

There is no best kind of parenting, but if it gets you and your kids safely through the day, then that’s enough

This week, I happened to come across a particularly fascinating Instagram post from a member of that strange and relatively new breed of people known as “mumfluencers”, and it shows the aforementioned mumfluencer, dressed ever-so-casually but with mysteriously perfect makeup, marching through a forest with three small boys. Most intriguingly, she is holding a letter board on which she has spelled out: “Into the woods we go because kids won’t remember their best day of television.”

I have a lot of questions about this photo, which has gone heavily viral in the US, and the first one is this: did she carry that letter board the whole time she was in the woods? Because that surely would have become a bit tiresome. Also, are those actually her kids? That has been the public’s assumption, but I also have three small children, and let me tell you, no way would the mother of those kids have the time or inclination to put on lipstick in the morning. Also, maybe I’ve watched too many horror films of the Midsommar variety, but there is something about that photo that makes me suspect she’s taking those kids into the woods to make a human sacrifice. Aww, classic Instagram moment!

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