The pandemic has taken its toll on our friendships. How do we fix them? | Claire Cohen

As life returns to ‘normal’, we may have expected these key relationships to spring back too. But it’s not so simple

During the first lockdown, I had a call with the same group of three female friends every Wednesday evening. We would spend an hour or two chatting over video, and however doomful the day had been, the evening would be brighter and sillier. It’s no exaggeration to say that those conversations kept me going – a lifeline when it felt that so many of our personal relationships were drifting – and I didn’t skip a single one. We four are now closer than ever. Yet, there are other friends I haven’t seen and have hardly spoken to since March 2020.

Perhaps you had a similar experience during a time when many of us felt forced to examine the shape of our friendships: whom you could face speaking to, and who inspired little more than a sense of duty to keep in touch, if you did at all. We got used to prioritising our pals, first virtually and later seeing a small number in person when the rules allowed. Many of our friendships were simply “parked” – not ended, but not maintained. We pressed pause, assuming those friends would be equally happy to pick things back up when the pandemic storm had passed.

Claire Cohen is a journalist and the author of BFF? The Truth About Female Friendship

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